Anybody Here Packin' Heat?

I've been reading Moanin' At Midnight, the biography of Howlin' Wolf. I'll probably write a short review when I've finished but this couldn't wait. One of Wolf's drummers, the legendary Sam Lay (who quit Wolf to join Paul Butterfield) packed a piece at gigs for a short time in 1961 to ward off jealous boyfriends and husbands of the wimmins that members of the band were defiling. Well, during a show in Chicago Lay, in the midst of a frenetic percussive outburst, inadvertently shot off one of his testicles. Unless he had the Roscoe jammed into the elastic band of his Fruit-of-the-Looms I'm not sure how this could happen. And this coming over 100 years after Jedediah Holster invented the carrying device that saved thousands of cowboys from blasting their packages off whilst roaming the range. Anyway, I haven't done the research but I feel confident declaring that Sam Lay is the only musician to ever shoot his junk off while performing.

Addendum: I've confirmed that this incident took place in 1966 and not 1961 as implied in the book (or as improperly inferred by me). Also, someone who claims to know Lay says that he (Lay) denies blowing off a rock. He says that the bullet hit him in the thigh. Without medical records or visual evidence to the contrary I will assume that the authors and editors vetted this piece of information before publication.

You'll Poke Yer Eye Out!

I decided yesterday that a completely revamped training regimen was in order. And if you’re thinking, “doesn’t he mean training regime”, then you are one of the 250 million Americans who now believe that the two words are interchangeable. They are not. Since another roughly 50 million don’t recognize either word, it leaves only a few thousand that care even slightly about something that drives me nearly insane. Regardless, the root of my problem can be traced back to the Third Reich. I know, you can say that about pretty much any problem, but hear me out. If you’ve read my previous posts you know that I do the vast majority of my practicing while driving. When my company vehicle was an ultra-plush Chevy 2500 4x4 this was not a problem. We’ve recently “upgraded” to the ubermacho Dodge Ram Bighorn Hemi SuperSucker with the optional Blitzkrieg package. The ride in these babies is so harsh that I’ve started wearing a football mouth piece just to keep from inadvertently biting off my tongue. I searched enthusiast’s message boards and found a poster, neverbeenlaid132, who said that the springs for the Blitzkrieg package were salvaged from war surplus Panzer tanks and had actually been used in the Blitz! As this was posted on an internet message board I assume it is fairly accurate.

But fast forward to yesterday, Labor Day. I had to work at a remote location which required an 85 mile round trip. I packed my C harp, my jamming buddy and hit the road. At roughly mile 23, while working on a glissando, I hit a small bump which caused me to poke myself in the eye with my harp. Before I could even utter a "son of a….", I hit another bump and rammed the harp up my nose. Forensic evidence taken from the harp afterwards shows that it traveled at least 3 inches into my nasal cavity. Another inch and it would have lodged in my cranium. So, that’s it for movable practice sessions. From now on I’m a stationary man.

*Some of information and events in this post are fictional. Things that are absolutely true:

Regimen and regime are not synonyms. If you have a dictionary that suggests that they are, it is descriptive and not prescriptive. Meaning: It is a catalogue of the language only and takes no stance on proper usage.

We used to have Chevys. Now we have Dodges which get really lousy gas mileage and are not conducive to mobile harp practice.

I did poke myself in the eye with my harp while driving yesterday. I did not jam the harp 3 inches into my nose, but the corner did break the plane of the nostril.